The Atrocities of Army Cadets 2

Hi guys,

So if you haven't read the first part of this, go back and read it. It should be just under or above this one, and it's got some background information so you can better understand what I'm talking about.

First off, the camps. THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT... was actually pretty fun. Don't get me wrong, there was still a ton of bullshit during these camps, but overall it was a pretty enjoyable experience. Doesn't make up for the rest of army cadets though.

Unfortunately, throughout my Year 9 cadet experience, I was only able to attend one out of three of the army camps (I got sick so I couldn't attend the other two). This camp was the first one, the training camp. This is where we learned the in's and out's of the structure of army cadets, teamwork and survival skills, and navigation. The place we camped at was uh... I have no fucking clue. Genuinely it was just these sad ass looking trees everywhere you went. 

Example of the terrain.

Let's start with what we were allowed to bring. Uh. Like fucking nothing. We could only bring some spare clothes, toiletries, lunch for the first day, and our army gear. We were also responsible for bringing a sleeping bag and a surface to sleep on (like a tarp or sleeping mat). My dumbass however forgot this until it was much too late and did not bring a sleeping mat, but instead a shoddily cut out piece of cardboard from a box I had lying around at home. So when nighttime came, and we had to go into our little tents, which did NOT fucking help with the cold, all I had to sleep on was this shitty moist piece of cardboard. Altough I guess the blame's on me for this one.

The food. The food was fucking awful. Besides the lunches we brought ourselves on the first day, the best food these shitheads could offer was these dry 'rations' that I'm pretty sure were stashed inside the army cadets storage room for at least 50 years. We had these packs with various dry snacks that we would 'ration' during our camp activities (these fucking packs were gone by the first hour). And the food they offered for dinner? You know those soup powder mixes that you add into boiling water to make a pretty shitty meal. Yeah it's like that but 10 times worse. It tasted like shit. You couldn't get seconds. I have no fucking clue what the flavour even was. 

And let me tell you the HORRORS of this one night. So we all have these little metal bowls called mess tins which we eat out of, here's what they look like:

Anyways, one night the lieutenants and seargeants cooked up some curry with some sausages. It was alright I guess, better than the rations they gave before. But, you know, this is curry. It's messy, so we gotta clean these right? You know what these fuckers gave us? A plastic tub of water. That's fucking it. So all the cadets lined their asses up to dip their mess tins in this fucking water that had NO plans of being replaced. And this is fucking curry so you know the second the first guy dips his tin in the whole fucking tub turns brown. Genuinely this was fucking disgusting I could still see small chunks of food in the water when I dipped mine in. And this wasn't the last time we had to use these of course, this was only like the second or third night so we HAD to reuse these again to eat later. No fucking wonder half the cadets got gastro when they got home.

And the higher ups made us do a SHIT TON of menial work. There were some more credible ones, such as gathering fire wood, setting up tents, clearing up areas. But these lazy fuckers weren't satisfied with this. The lieutenants would deliberately bait their cadets "Who wants some ice cream?". There's no ice cream within a 10km radius bro. If you fell for this, next thing you'll find yourself doing is setting up the LIEUTENANTS' TENT, while they are fucking scrolling instagram reels in the corner, and you're getting NOTHING for this. This was fucking 1984 with the way these evil ass lietenants were reducing their cadets which THEY are supposed to care for into fucking slaves.

The main activity we did on this training camp was navigation. We were all split into groups, and within these groups, everyone was given a role, with varying degrees of usefulness. Some guys held the map, one guy would lead the group through the area, and the other dickheads would just hold the compass. Now navigating a forest doesn't sound too hard right? Holy shit this was a fucking nightmare. Not only did we have to rely on our monkey brains to figure out where to go, but we also had to navigate the most inhospitable place known to mankind. Every where you fucking went there was a giant like 1-2 metre golden orb spider with the biggest fucking web. You were NEVER safe from these fuckers. AND THEY WERE SO FUCKING HARD TO SEE I almost ran face first into several of them. And it was so draining to even walk half a kilometre in these shitty boots that give zero mobility room. Seriously if it wasn't for the spiders, training camp may have been a somewhat enjoyable experience.

Anyways thats all I got to talk about for now, but I STILL have stuff I could go on about army cadets so I don't know maybe part 3??? Who knows.

Fuck you army cadets,
Alvin